Stormy Nights
by BluStrawberri
Summary: It's a while before the storm passes, and it's an even longer while before either boy speaks. Phil has started to doze off, comfortable and having no intentions to move anytime soon, when Dan's voice comes softly from right beside his ear. "I really wish you would tell me." Phan DanxPhil dansisnotonfire Amazingphil


**A/N:** Man, looking up random word generators really is the cure for writer's block. I at first tried to do the thing again where I played my iPod on shuffle to get the prompt, but I think I really need to put some happier songs on that thing, and so I nixed _that_ idea. I thought I would do something a bit fluffier than my last, utterly depressing story. This one's a bit sad at first, but I think I made it a bit less heavy than my normal ones. Dan comes off as a bit of an asshole, but I think that he wouldn't be all that into the mushy stuff (and he's kind of a prick anyways), so I tried to make it a little less sappy? Idk. Written from 1am to 4pm, when I really should be sleeping because I have English in the morning, but plot bunnies can't tell time, and who am I to deny them?

I've also noticed that I kind of end the fics at a kiss. Idk, some weird psychological reason? I guess I just like the finality of sealing the deal with a kiss, a "well, the hard part's over, so now we can move forward" sort of deal. I'm gonna try to make it more varied, I swear! Bear with me! D:

**Warnings:** Lots of cussing, because Inner Phil has a dirty mouth and so do I.

OoO

It's three in the morning and Phil's still awake, staring at the wall dividing him and Dan in an almost desperate way. He's tried looking at other things; the ceiling's too boring, and the clock just hurts his eyes and makes him even more tired. Insomnia? _Dan_somnia. Because that's what it really is: Phil lying awake and thinking about Dan night after night after night. Is Dan asleep, or is he up, browsing the Internet and laughing at silly things like cats in teacups? Phil knows that Dan always sleeps in the nude, and he tries not to imagine what's under those sheets and _God_, he really needs to just stop thinking right now. But trying not to think about something never works, and it just opens up a floodgate and it's just a never-ending, vicious cycle.

He _knows_ it's wrong to think these things about your best friend and roommate, and probably even borderline creepy, to be honest. But when it comes to Dan, Phil gets these warm tingles from his head to his toes and he thinks that he maybe-sort-of-just-might-be in love with the brunette.

He's pretty sure that Dan knows. Phil can be pretty obvious when it comes to things like that; he's an open book, which is kind of annoying when you're trying to keep something a secret. He knows that Dan's seen those lovesick stares of Phil's because he's been caught quite a few times. Sometimes Phil turns his head away and can see, from the corner of his eyes, Dan looking at him thoughtfully, as if he were trying to figure something out. When Phil looks back, the look is wiped off of the brunette's face completely and Normal Dan is back, laughing and giggling and cracking "your mum" jokes like no tomorrow. Yes, Dan's probably at least noticed _something_, but Dan doesn't say anything so Phil doesn't either.

Some days Phil can pretend that he doesn't love Dan, and that everything's all right with his own little world. He can laugh wholeheartedly at Dan's wisecracks, and genuinely enjoy their time together without worrying about the _when's_, _why's_, and _how's_. They're just two little boys in a grown-up world, making the best of their lives without any regrets. And then Dan does something that, _fuck_, just makes Phil fall in love with him all over again. Each time it's harder to keep on laughing, keep on smiling when his legs turn to jelly and butterflies eat at his stomach whenever Dan smiles at a dumb joke Phil makes, or giggles at a stupid face that Phil pulls. Fuck, it's hard, and Phil sometimes can hear his little world cracking at the edges, bit by bit. Dan is the Sun and Phil is just a small, insignificant planet that wishes he could burn just as brightly as the star he orbits.

He hears the door squeak and looks up in time for the flash of lighting that lights up his room and the doorway and the pale, brown orbs that stare nervously back at him. Did it start to rain? He hadn't noticed. The thunder that echoes around the room and the sharp flinch that the brunette gives makes Phil suddenly remember that Dan's afraid of storms. Really, really afraid of storms.

"…Phil?" comes the tiny voice, not at all normal for the usually exuberant brunette. Phil doesn't know if it's the slight tremor in the words, or the pale expression of terror on the younger boy's face, but he nods at the unasked question and moves over in his bed. Phil lifts up the blanket expectantly, already resigned to his fate.

Dan shakily makes his way across the room and slides into the bed, taking a moment to settle himself before muttering, "M'sorry."

"It's fine," Phil says soothingly, shifting a bit so that they're both comfortable. Their legs are touching slightly, and it sends tingles up Phil's spine at the ghost of the touch. He flashes a reassuring smile at Dan. "Don't worry about it. I wasn't sleeping, anyway."

"Really?" Dan almost perks up at the news. Phil can see the questions flash across the always-curious brunette's face, and he hides a smile behind his lips. Dan is just so _cute_ when he's like this.

A flash of lightning illuminates the room, and Phil is not ready for the form that now clings to him, impossibly close and breathing heavily in Phil's ear. Dan's body heat warms Phil from his toes up to his head in a sinfully pleasurable sort of way, and Phil feels bad that while his friend is scared and shaking, Phil is coming dangerously close to tearing off the brunette's clothes and having his way with him. _At least he has clothes on_, Phil thinks, trying to shut the thoughts and his body down. He awkwardly reaches his arms around Dan, partly to reassure the younger boy and partly to keep his hands occupied and not wandering all up and down the boy like a horny schoolgirl. It makes Phil want to do things, dangerous things, to his friend. But he gulps the urges down like a shot of whiskey, his throat burning from the words he wants to say.

Dan's breath tickles Phil's ear as the brunette's heavy breathing lightens and becomes somewhat breathy. Dan nuzzles closer to the ebony-haired boy, sighing contentedly. _At least he's stopped shaking._ Phil allows himself this small moment, because who could really blame him and it just feels so _nice_ to be needed, so nice to be the person that Dan comes to when he's scared and alone. Phil can pretend for a moment that everything is all right, that there are no unasked questions and no awkwardness between the two of them. He can just be here, be here and forget.

It's a while before the storm passes, and it's an even longer while before either boy speaks. Phil has started to doze off, comfortable and having no intentions to move anytime soon, when Dan's voice comes softly from right beside his ear. "I really wish you would tell me."

Phil freezes, and tries not to show it too much because here Dan is, right _beside_ him, so the brunette can feel everything that Phil's feeling, especially if the older boy tenses up. He's proud that his voice only shakes a little when he asks in a forced casual voice, "Tell you what?"

"You know," Dan says simply, giving a small, almost wistful sigh. Phil really wishes he could see Dan's face right now to gauge exactly _what_ the younger boy is feeling, because Phil's unsure of exactly what Dan's up to, and the ebony-haired boy feels somewhat lost.

He knows that if he denies anything, Dan will call him out on it, and it's basically shared knowledge, so he figures what the hell. It's been fun while it lasted. He finds his emotions leak out a bit into his voice and it cracks slightly when he asks, "Why?"

"Because…" Dan pauses, and Phil can imagine him chewing on his lower lip, "…because it's really getting quite annoying watching you beat yourself up over things when you haven't even attempted to find out _my_ side of the story. I'm really tired of it, so let's just get it all out in the open. So please, tell me. I'll even start it for you. 'Dan, I have something to tell you…' Now you finish."

Dan's being cheeky, and Phil normally would have been annoyed had his mind not been occupied with other emotions. Dan has a point; they've been tiptoeing around this rather important issue for far too long, and to be honest Phil's getting a little tired of it, too. "Okay, fine, you caught me. I'll tell you. I love you, okay? I'm your best friend and I've loved you since the day we've met. Happy now?"

Dan says nothing and only gives a murmur of approval. The seconds tick by, with Phil slowly getting more and more on edge and Dan just not saying a word, so eventually Phil gets tired of the silence and says in a leading voice, "So?"

"So?" the younger boy echoes almost thoughtfully.

"_Goddammit_, Dan, you have to start all of this, bring all of this shit up, and all you're going to do is be cheeky about it? God, you're such an asshole!" Phil pushes the brunette away from him so forcefully that Dan's head thunks a bit too harshly against the headboard. "Shit, Dan, I'm sorry!"

Dan's rubbing his head sheepishly, muttering, "Naw, s'okay. Sorry, I shouldn't have provoked you. I know this is a big topic, and I was hoping to approach it kind of light-heartedly, but I ended up being an asshole about it. Sorry, mate."

The apologetic look Dan gives him somewhat makes up for it, and Phil thinks to himself how weird this situation is. Dan's apologizing to _him_, when Phil should be apologizing to _Dan_ about probably fucking up their friendship. "It's okay. At least you were trying to make me feel better about it, I guess." Phil's surprised that he can keep his tone even, and realizes with a start that after keeping everything bottled up inside of him, it feels sort of good to be saying it out loud, even if it _is_ to the object of his affections.

"Good," Dan says softly and cracks a small smile, which Phil hesitantly mirrors. The smile disappears and Dan's looking at Phil with an unreadable expression when he says, "So ask me."

"Ask you what?"

Dan rolls his eyes as if the answer's obvious, and simply states, "Ask me how I feel."

"Oh," Phil mutters dumbly. He's pretty sure he knows the answer anyway, and he's steeling himself to be let down when he manages to get out, "So how do you feel about it?"

"Well, pretty happy," Dan says casually, as if they were talking about the weather, but he's looking straight in Phil's eyes and Phil knows that it's genuine and _God_ he's so confused right now. Half of him wants to believe Dan, but half of him is saying that it's not true, and _fuck_, is it too much to ask for his mind to quiet down for a minute and let him _think_? He finds that Dan's looking at him evenly, expectantly, and he swallows down the questions and the thoughts and just settles for one.

"Oh," he finds himself saying again, just as dumbly and still with the same undertone of confusion. "Oh."

"For _fuck's sakes_, do I have to do _everything_ around here?" Dan groans loudly, and all of a sudden Phil's head is being rather forcefully pulled forward and his lips are suddenly occupied and it's all Phil can do not to moan out loud. His hands claw desperately at Dan's shirt, trying to experience it all, and Dan's shoving his body against the older boy's and it feels so _good_, so good that Phil almost cries and he's pretty sure a rebellious tear slides down his cheek anyway.

When Dan pulls back, he has a slightly dazed but satisfied look on his face, and his lips are bruised and red, and it makes Phil want to kiss them again. So he does, and it's just as passionate as the first and Phil can't believe it. _Please don't let me wake up, please God oh please_. He closes his eyes hesitantly, and when he opens them Dan is still there, so he takes it as a good sign.

Phil barely hears Dan's voice over the rush of blood in his ears when the brunette says, "See? That wasn't so hard."

_How can he be so _casual_ about it?_ Phil thinks to himself, and realizes he must have said it out loud when Dan answers him back, words laced with affection and amusement. "Well, I've had a long time to think about this. I mean, _really_, you're so obvious it would be annoying if I didn't find the whole thing cute as hell. It's been so long since I've first known how you felt, and it was kind of shocking at first, but it just took me a while to realize that yeah, kind of I loved you back. I mean, we're around each other so much that it was bound to happen eventually. We're pretty much stuck with each other, yeah? At least I hope so, because it'd be really shitty if you got scared and left, and I'd be alone without you, because you make things a whole lot easier when you're around.

"Don't get me wrong; I'm completely head-over-heels for you. I think about you so often that there could be a movie fully formed with a music score and soundtrack and everything. I guess I can come off as casual about it because there's really no doubt in my mind that you and I just _fit_, we always have, and that's more than can be said of a lot of people. So yeah, I was just waiting for you to make the first move, and then I realized that it's _you_, and I kind of got tired of waiting," Dan pauses thoughtfully for a moment. "I _did_ kind of want to make it a bit more romantic, though, but I guess I kind of fucked _that_ one up."

"Oh," Phil repeats for the umpteenth time this night, and he's a little annoyed at himself for not being good at coming up for words at times like these. Not that he really had any times like _these_, but it's still annoying. So he clears his throat and says anti-climatically, "So can we do that thing again?"

"What thing?"

"That kissing thing."

"_What_ kissing thing?"

"You utter prick. I swear to God if you say one more thing—"

Dan's lips taste like heaven and a little bit of cinnamon when they crash into Phil's, and Phil can feel the blood singing through his veins happily as it beats life into his stuttering heart. He gets the feeling that things are going to be okay from now on. Neither boy is perfect, and they _do_ have a talent for fucking things up considerably, but Phil has a good feeling about this future that's suddenly laid out in front of him. He had never even hoped to be here, tangled up in the lanky brunette afterwards as sleep starts to take them both. But he thinks that it's all right, that _they're_ all right, and his smile stays on his face. The last thing he sees before sleep takes him is the boyish face of the boy he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Come what may, that's the most important thing, that Dan is by his side and means to stay. Phil's eyes slowly close until they are shut, and the only noises in the dimly lit bedroom are the soft sounds of two bodies breathing as one.


End file.
